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19 October 2025 @ 09:00 am
Hi guys, thanks for stumbling across my journal. This journal is a weight-loss only journal, but I'm always looking for new friends who'd like to follow my progress (I'd love to follow yours!) If you'd like to be LJ weightloss buddies, feel free to add me and leave a comment so I know to add you back. :)

A bit about me: I'm a 24 year old girl from Ontario, Canada. I'm a nurse. I have a great boyfriend who is incredibly supportive of me and my weight loss efforts. I've struggled with my weight my entire life and have lost and gained weight over and over again. My highest weight was 250 lbs in 2005. I've tried many different methods to lose weight, starting with Weight Watchers when I was 15.

My lowest weight was 143 lbs, but I've "relapsed" again, for what feels like the millionth time. Currently I'm exercising and following Weight Watchers Online, trying to get back down to that weight, and then hopefully to my goal weight of 125-130 lbs.
14 December 2011 @ 05:16 am
but here I am.

January 2010, I hit my lowest weight ever. 145 lbs.

Now I'm back up to 220-something. I feel so depressed. I hate the way I look, I feel unhealthy, my sex drive is almost nonexistent. I haven't seen a lot of my friends in almost a year because I feel so embarrassed that I put the weight back on (and so quickly). I've even avoided going with my partner to visit his family on holidays for the same reason (and only recently got the courage to see my own). I'm even ashamed to show my face around here, because so many of you were cheering me on and telling me how inspiring I was.

But I'm back. For the god-knows-how-manyth time. Hello.
01 February 2011 @ 06:28 am
When we last left off, our heroine was at the peak of weightloss happiness. She had lost an astonishing 110 lbs, could fit her sexy ass in a never-heard-of-before size 11 (and occasionally size 9!), was finally able to wear clothes she actually liked and felt stylish for the first time in her life, and was more confident and social than ever before!

Fast-forward 9 months and we find her crawling back, for what feels like the 100th time, humbled and ashamed at the sad, pathetic woman she is once more---someone who she thought she'd left behind forever.

The scale---my abusive lover. There was once a time when we were on the top of the world---inseparable; telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. Knowing just the right number to show me to make my heart skip a beat and cause that weak feeling in my knees. But our relationship turns from love to hate so easily. Your honesty is cruelty---it shatters me. I begin to visit you less and less, and when I get up the courage to see you, it's just a slap in the face; a blow to my self-esteem and self-worth.

That's unfair of me to take this out on you. It's not you, it's me. I guess I just can't handle your honesty---the way you show me my own reflection so coldly. I can't blame you for the fact that I've gained 70 lbs. It's only been my own decisions that have got me here.

But I have excuses! Lots of them! Don't you want to hear them? No? They don't change a thing? I can't trade them in to get back my pounds lost?

I guess you're right. So what can I do?

Get back on this god forsaken horse and do it all over again. And maybe learn from my mistakes so I don't find myself here again.
29 May 2010 @ 10:25 am
So, I'm on a bit of a recipe-kick lately. I made a meal plan for the the next 16 days, including a grocery list for next week already.

So yeah, the first recipe I tried is Healthified Chicken and Broccoli Parmesan Pasta (note: check out Eat Better America for some pretty tasty recipes!)

I didn't make the recipe exactly the way it says. My problem with recipes is that it has to be 1. pretty simple to make, 2. not that many ingredients, and 3. ingredients that I have on hand or that are easy to find and cheap. So anyway, I sent Phillip to the store and had Light Mayo on the list, and he bought me light Miracle Whip, so a small change there. Also, I didn't have the adobo seasoning, so instead I used Mrs. Dash Garlic and Herb seasoning and a bit of cayenne pepper. I also adjusted the amount of parmesean to 0.5 tbsp per serving (and then adjusted the calories accordingly). I calculated the points based on the ingredients and amounts I actually used, and not what's listed and mine turned out to be 6 WW points (I think theirs is 7 WW points if I remember correctly).

I was a bit worried about how it would turn it.. it didn't seem like I would be using a lot of "mayo" to make the sauce, so I thought it would be dry and I was worried about the flavour, since I was using my own spices. But yeah, it was EXCELLENT. I would definitely make this one again.

Kickboxing on Thursday was great. Definitely felt it afterward. Yesterday I did the Biggest Loser Last Chance workout (upper and lower body).
27 May 2010 @ 12:59 pm
1. Threw out those deep-fried tasty goodies I picked up at the Chinese bakery the other day, so I wont be tempted to eat them.
2. Looked up some healthy recipes for the week and sent the boyfriend to the grocery store to pick up the ingredients. The plan is to cook enough for 4 servings at dinner, so we can have the leftovers for lunch the next day. :)
3. Went to yoga class on Tuesday (my first ever!), running on Wednesday, and planning to go to kickboxing class today.
4. Went for a walk this morning to get some sun and exercise!
5. Picked up some new cookbooks - Hungry Girl 1-2-3 and Cook Yourself Thin Faster :)
6. Wore some pretty today instead of dressing like a bum, so I in turn don't feel like a bum. :P
08 March 2010 @ 03:38 pm
So I've hit a bit of a bump.

I went to Toronto two weeks ago and went off my diet plan. In three days, my weight was up about 8 lbs. Yikes. I was 143 lbs when I left, and 151 when I returned. But the truth is, I'm pretty disenchanted with my diet and I really didn't want to go back to the clinic, especially after this gain. I thought about it for awhile and made the decision to take a break from Dr. B and get back into exercising and counting calories.

I still don't feel completely back on track, but my weight seems to have settled. I've been bouncing around between 148 and 151, despite some bad eating and a little drinking these past two weeks. Today I'm 149.5. It sucks that I'm no longer in the cusp of being in the 130s, but I still feel pretty good about my weight and I'm going to take the rest off slowly and worry more about just being healthy and getting more fit through exercise and making healthy food choices.

In other news, Phill had a job interview in Toronto on Friday and they called him on Saturday to tell him he got the job! I'm so excited because.. well, I hate living in London. I feel so isolated here and I think I've been feeling depressed from a mix of loneliness and the winter weather. So, he starts his job next Monday, but I'll still be in London until mid-April because my job contract doesn't end until then. Either way, we're trying to figure things out so that he can get a place in Toronto and I'll join him in a month. I've been putting out my resumes to get a new job myself, so keep your fingers crossed for me!

I'm hoping that we'll get an apartment with a fitness complex. That would be excellent. Also, a friend of mine has already asked me if I'd like to take classes with her at the gym (we both have Goodlife memberships). Awesome.
16 February 2010 @ 01:31 pm
I saw these in my Fitness magazine and thought they were a neat idea:


Basically they're 1.5 pound "weight" utensils. :) Neat.
10 February 2010 @ 11:56 pm
I read this on a weight loss forum today:

It's not about motivation, it's about commitment.

What do you guys think?
08 February 2010 @ 11:58 am
"They" say that when you're losing weight, you should have a mantra. Something you say to yourself to keep you focused and motivated. All this time, my mantra has been simple: "One hundred pounds." Losing 100 lbs was my major goal and simply saying it to myself actually did help to keep me focused on my goal. Now that I've lost 100 lbs, I need something new to help me stay focused on getting to my goal weight. I don't know if this is silly, but my new mantra is:

"Eat well today, lose weight tomorrow."

To me, that means that all I can do is focus on today and take things one day at a time. All I can do is focus on the decisions I make NOW and the pay off will come based on those decisions. No, I might not literally lose weight every "tomorrow", even if I'm staying on track, but eventually the weight will come off as a result of the decisions I make in the present.

Highest Weight: 250.0 lbs
Starting Weight: 190.6 lbs
Last Week's Weight: 149.0 lbs
This Week's Weight: 145.6 lbs
This Week's Loss: 3.4 lbs
Total Loss: 45.0 lbs
Total Loss from High Weight: 104.4 lbs

This morning I weighed 145.6 lbs! That means only 20.6 lbs left to get to my goal. I'm super excited about that.

I survived a weekend at home visiting friends and family. I also went shopping stateside and I bought some new cute clothes: a pair of jeans in a size 11, some new bras (36C!), a swim suit (size L), and two tops (size L). I also found two really cute dresses. I tried them in L and they fit, but they're kind of summery so I figured I won't get a chance to wear them until warmer weather, so I grabbed a size Medium in both of them so that hopefully they'll fit when spring comes. Well, I tried them on when I got home and they both fit, even now! :) Hopefully they'll still fit! I may even be a size small when I get to my goal! Can you imagine?
03 February 2010 @ 12:44 pm
Hey guys!

Today I weigh 147.4 lbs and it makes me so excited to be in the "home stretch".

I've been doing alright on my diet, but cravings have been rampant. At work on Sunday, my coworkers baked cupcakes and then a parent of one of our previous clients brought in a huge gift basket of chocolate and goodies, and tortillas with spinach dip. Arg. I didn't have any. I've gotten pretty good at saying "No thanks."

Then I went home. I have company over all week and my boyfriend and friend were eating pizza, swedish berries, and chips with salsa. :[

Tomorrow I'm going home to visit family/friends, so I know there will be more temptations. I plan on bringing my own food with me.

I bought a pair of dress pants the other day in a size medium. I use dress pants as my weigh-in pants because they're pretty light weight, but all the ones I own are falling off me. In fact, the pair I was wearing on Monday literally did fall off my butt and I had to quickly grab for them.

I also bought some sexy lingerie. Va va voom.